there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
