Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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