Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
