Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
