I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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