I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
can u get pink eye on your cock?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize