Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
