There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the day after is always just damage control
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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