Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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