ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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