When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
