There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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