Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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