I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i've created a new STD.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
