I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
