my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
