I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
