clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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