I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
