she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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