I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
