Define "chronic" masturbator.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
