check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
