It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
