Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
