Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
