Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
