I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
