did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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