i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
