I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
