Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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