is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
