me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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