the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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