After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
