i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hippo gnu deer
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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