Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
