Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
