i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
