Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
