also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
