Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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