i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
A+ Viking dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
