are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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