and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
