apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
