what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
