So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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