Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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